anniversary”ber;
butiteasyshealheasighofreliefhatday
ydays
thinkingaboutalliulddoiflegsan
rachel;blessher;nevertuedsoursheleaedtolivehthose
ries”
”didyouknothebaby”faithtuggedashaloseonher
shoulders”shetold”
”sheshouldhavetold”faiththoughtaboutthathercreasedface
lehitslittleecapthereionwhenshe
spoke;onlyresignation”shesaidsheonyour
akeyoufeel
guiltyorgetyouback”hearrybecause
she”hepushedhishandsintohishairandlaughed
”god;thatsfunny
vionstrosityofa
aboutsaiarriagebythat;notbyanybaby
victoriadidntcarethatrachelitdidntshownoone
knepandcircutance;
victoriaheshotgunoutfastno;iedthat
baby
rachelandibothdidhedevilhinkiwas
forced
”faithsbroenth
soonehungupthephoneandartedthinkingabout
thedisagreentdeassutionsandgeneralizationsaboutthe
person;andbuiltthep;builtthepuntiltheytookonthel
realityofyourangerorhurtthenyousahepersonagain;andit
entthatcarriednoneof
theiledthat;sadsle”etions
canbepotenttheyshadethingsinayhavenothingtodo
hrealityrachelhelossofthatchildshewas
upsetsheehofroourtrip
evenedshehadbeen
fearingfoths;thatyoudidntcareshethoughtusingthe
pregnancytonipulateyouheoldest;lotrickinthebook
”thatdidsoundlikerachelshe
true
sheshouldhavetoldhibutheshouldhaveehoevenhout
knowing
heshouldhaveletherknou;buthehad
stoppeddoingthathehadshutdoriptotorontowasonly
thelastinagrootionalneglecthey;and
no
heranthepadofhisthuoverthescrapesthatwerenearlyhealed
herfrecklesing;aswereherlips;
………………………………
第89节
herears;her
hairherbrokenlegstillneededtiinitscast;butherhands
uldpaint
hel
asthoughinansovedhereyes
chaptertytwo
jackleanedcloserrachelhereyeballsovingbehindtheir
lids
”rachel”sheuldhavebeendreang”rachel;eon;
honeyiknoeopenthoseeyesopenthoseeyes”the
ventntinuedforanute;thenstoppedheednothing
hegrabbedhershoulders;findingtheothinandfrailthatheheld
gently;butheheld”dontgobacktosleep;rachelpleasedont
itstitosheagain;usingtheround
bristlebrushbecausesoooldhertousethebristlefilbert
”okay”herevedhishandsandstraightened”youtosleep;
sleepitsyoure;idliketotalkhthepeoplewhove
beensokindastoehereidalsoliketoefora
shots
itoobuildacareertothepoint
ofbeinginvitedbyagallerylikethat;onlytosleepthroughthe
nthing”hesandstoodback;frustrated
enoughtobeangry
”shesdoingthisdeliberately;”hetoldfaith”itsantrol
thing
shesgettingbackatforyearshoughtirolling
her;butitsherfaultfootspeakingupshenevertalkedabout
ntroldidshesayidontlikesanfrancisidont
toliveinsanfrancisidonttobealoneinsanfrancis
sodidshedo
sheleftaloheregaveatasteofoedicinewell;i
leaedisntthatenough”faithsilysledhers;sad
sle
raejackbroughtthe
girls;herlidsuof
ightopenhereyesand
spendtherestofherlifestaringatnothingnessthedoctors
uldntgetapupildilation;buttheycalledthisprogressjack
enthepatience
”thatlookstotallygross;”santhasaid”youale
todothingsatalleyelidslikethatarentdoingit
ryingtolookunderthoselidsandsee
sothingthatghtseehershehadbarelystraightenedwhenshesaw
theojackhehershe
thoughthehadsearandwouldbeangry;whenshesaid;
”hisdidshesendittoyouialwayswondered
was”
”shekeptit;”jahopetosanthaand
baighthelpanyonehaveaproblethis”
noonedidthegirlslessashehehourspassed;
andasreluctanttoleaverachelbenstoppedby
janstoppedbysteveandkaracainandproddedandtestedand
talkednelliestoppedby
charliestoppedbycindytuedrachel;oaned;thensettledback
intoplaceebarelyopeneyesduncanpickedupfaith
stevecdonaldsfordinnerthey
helsnose
bynine;jackandthegirlsheonlyoneslefthopewaspaleand
yaanthasod
still;theye
thingsoverandoveragain;badgeringher;beggingher;halfjl
expe
up
byten;theyeinsilencehalfway
there;itstartedtorainjacktuedoffthehighthebankof
ilboxes;dobingintothe
canyon
hepulledinatthehousetheycliedoutandstoodintherain
”iakingaionhe
rainatnightethingracheling”
”
”””theonlythingtheydidbeforeleavingocheckthe
ansaanthafroydia;
shelly;andbrendanthereessagesforjackfroislawyerand
thepotentialhillsboroughdetroit;
ecstatictoheartheneisinganothercalltherewasno
ssagefrohehospital
takingrainats;jackscellphone;andthelargeflashlightsthat
rachelkeptonhandfortheoutagesthatfaithhadsaid
ineadohe
rainthetreesgentledthedropstheir
pitpatelledofda
earthandwood
hopeledtheothespoterseveral
nutesthere;theyvedonanthainthelead;butshetued
backandhaltedtheothersbeforetheyhadgonefar
”illtakeyoutoplace;butitisneyoucantehere
again
closeyoureyesillleadyou”
”nuhuh;”jacksaid”iotyeyesclosedifyou
toshare;youshare
eon;saitstoodarktoseeahellofalot
iregnizeanythingindaylight”
”hopewould”
”no;iised”isofshiningalightin
herface;jackuldntseesanthasexpressionbutshetuedand
beganinuteslater;overaurseso
circuitousthatjackanthaintended;they
arrivedatherplaceitherredhisonehwide
trunksthatspreadandholloraddledunevenground
santhaescapedfroherainintoonehopeslippedintoanother
closebyjacktookshelterinthelargest;totherightofthe
others;ineasyviedhislightateach;saallbitsof
lorfroheirslickers;andtuedoffhislight
thenightoon;nofog;justadense
forestunderahigh;denseverofcloudsthesteadypitpatofrain
asy;as
;hecraved
hesettledback;prayingthatnothinglive;thennearly
diedethinghithisside
hete;”hopewhispered
”shhh
idonthere
shellthinkipbutyoursisbetterthanne”jack
laughed”dait;hope;youjusttooktenyearsofflife”buthe
hadanarroundherandher
se;theybothyelled
”isanthacried;crowdingin”i
an;like;hinkisoutherejasonpuleeze”jackwas
laughinga
………………………………
第90节
gainhepifillingasingleredwood
trunk;ajuleofar;legs;andbodiesnotverydifferentfrohe
juleonthehillinthephotographthatlayfacedohels
draheadedohyeah;exhaustiondid
that;butthereoretoitcraedinapitchblackholehhis
daughters;orethanafeudandthesllofwood
andrainats;hehadrecapturedsothinghehadthoughtforever
lost
itrendingthoughtanotherhatrachelknehe
threeoftheere
sheuldnt;ofurse;unlesssheabove;
butherefused;absolutelyrefused;tobuyintothatnoshewas
stillinaa;andevenifthephoneinhispocketrangtosayshe
hadpossiblyknoheywerehewas
fantasizingagainbutboy;hefeelingreal
itstayedrealrachelheytraipsedbackthrough
theselvesoffshetookashower
atchedhis;helpedhiakehot
goodnightand
follointothebedroo
heshookoffthefantasybedintobed;butitretuedina
flashhesatupandstaredintothedarkhethoughtabouthoired
hehisch
ithirtyhehadasuddenurgetodrivebacktothe
hospital
hecalledthereinsteadandoldthatrachelhadntwoken
helaydoforthehospital;lay
doehecalledthehospital
helaydoupandopenedtheinued;
peacefulandclean;restorativeandhefeltit;feltrachel
uedathethedoorshedidnt
sayanything;justhungontheknobandlookedathi
”areyousensingthings”heasked
shenodded
”;too”heranhishandsthroughhishairsoybetheyh
goingd;ethingsochthatitbecarealintheir
nds
theonlythingheknehathebeabletofall
backtosleep”akeadrive”hopeedsideo
thebackseatsantha;hanelbothedoor
andafisttoherchinhereyeslosed
jackkeptbothhandsontheonthegas
therainhadsloinutespast
sunriseonagraydaytrafficnoonespoke
jaalplace
intheparkinglot;thenbackedoutandpickedanotherspottheold
onehadntighthelookedatthegirls;daring
theoaskneitherdid
astheyleftthe;
buthedidnthavethepatiencetofortheelevatorhefoundthe
stairsandtookthee;hegirlstrottedclose
behindtheysorachelsfloor;strodequicklydohehall;
andtuedintoherroondsohelphidespiteallcautionary
thoughts;heexpectedtoseerachelproppedhigher;hhereyesopen
andalert;andasleintheworks
hestoppedjustinsidetheroosantha;hopeonhis
rightrachelelittlebitopenthat
theyhadbeenthenightbefore
”hopecalled
santha”nochange”jackswallowedhisbodydrained
ofenergyandfeltlikerubber
disappointntlaythickinhisthroat
heapproachedthebedsittingbyrachelship;heputana
eithersideofherandgaveherthelightest;softestkissonthe
uth
”happened;daddy”hopeasked
”idontknoourselvesh
ing
””thisisgettingold;”santhaplained
heletoutabreath;thenspokehangryforce”youretoyingh
us;rathe
bedandtothesendslaterhethebed;
arstraddlingrachelagain
thistihestaredhelookedatherlongandhard;o
openthosebarelyopeneyesherlipsauve;
herhairgoldtherestofherhanpale;andthin
hentinuedtostaresothingherehereyeswere
dartingaroundhesaespot
e;a
tinyfrown
hepouredhielfintoitthisti;diggingdeep;cursingherfor
punishingthe;willingherfinally;
finally;finallyahegirlscall;buthedidnt
respondeverythinghehadusedonrachel
anotherfroehereyesbeganvingreslohis
breathhegirlsspokeagainheignored
it
eon;rachel;eon;eon;rachel
herlidsflutteredtheyshut;thenpressedtogetherslohey
rose
jackbehindhithere
allrachelseyesstayedonhisface;stayedthereso
longthathehalffearedsheatosethenhereyesbroke
froisandvedpasttohope
”y”hopecried
hereyesshiftedtosantha;igod”when
thoseeyesretuedtohitheyovedher
fingersintoaloosefistbinsidepuzzledeyesto
hope;tosantha;andbajackothinkshe
ghthaveaesiailedina
voicethatveryrachel;sheasked;”sdoing”he
gaveashoutofrelief;andsuddenlythegirlsrowdingin;
huggingrachel;talkingandlaughingatthesati;andthoughjack
feltthesaexuberancetheydidandedtohugher;too;hegave
theoothisostiortantthing;afterall;racheland
hergirlsshehanothershoutof
relief;helefttotellthedoctorsthenews
katherineedupright;ecstatic
”wideawake”sheasked
”bering””shesnfusedabout
happenedanddayitis;andshesak;
thatisthebestneevebeenby””hesonhisway”
”soa;”shesaidandhurriedintotheshowasonlywhenshe
thatshereeredjacks
dileashesheplannedtotellrachelthat
shetuedofftheshofillthe
rooirror;sherubbedskincrealloverher
………………………………
第91节
bodybythen;therrorwasfullyfoggedsheworkedonherhairby
feel;usingthehuditytoenhancethecurls
otheclothes
shehadchosenrightthereingtoday;even;
perhaps;ifsheuldentsaroundit;aspeciallunchin
anyevent;shesoshepickedanouffltsheloved;soft
pantsandat
hookingtheclotheshangeroverthedo
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