loherfather；shefoldedher
legsandgentlysettledguinevereinhertshirtedlapthetabby
lookedupather；purringsoftlyhopeiginedthatguineverefelt
thesareassuranceseeingherasshefeltseeingherfather
only；hedidntlookveryessyand
hisbeardpricklytheshadohathehadnt
sleptch；adeheervous
butheethingifrachelwasdead；he
rightupouldnthehaveifshewasdead；he
esoonerouldnthehave
buthopedidntknohereshehadtriedtostay
aotherdidwhenshewasfeelinglonely
ordoeworkso
nytis；andthebooksheheldherthoughtsso
shehadfallenasleep
shehatedthethoughtthathertherghthavediedwhileshe
slept
ifthathadhappened；sheyfortherestofherlife
sheinghering
aroundbehindhislidssendslater；hisensedandhe
jerkedaaredattheceiling；satquicklyup；pressedthe
heelsofhishandstohiseyeshe
intohishairtedher
hesoundedshaky”youshouldhaveeup”
”ifiguredthatifyouuldsleep；okay；”shesaid；holdingher
breath；fortheslightestsignofdenial
”shesokay；”hesaid”sheneedstodoalotofnding；butshes
okay”
”didyoutalkhher””nosheithinkshe
knehere”
”sheisntdead””sheisntdead”
”youresure”hesee
………………………………
第13节
dabouttospeak；thenstopped；andherheart
stoppedrightalonghitshedreraighteranddidnt
lookaotheredto
knohetruth
sothingcrossedhisfacethen；andshekneadeherie
pointhisvoiceorereassuring”no；hope；sheisnt
deadioyouaboutthatdeal”shenodded；
breathingagain”anoing”helooked
atthecat”sothisisthethingthatshothefrontdoorone
dayallbittenandbruised”hopefingeredthetabbysear”the
biteshealed”
”gs
accidentsaaidshedidntknoouldsurvivedriving
offacliff”
”yourtherdidntdriveoffthecliffsheeoneelse；
andshedidsurvive；sosaaswrong”
”isherleginacast””uhhuh”
”heal””surebrokenlegsaledto
ntradicthibutshekerthanhedidonthis
”notalanentdage
thatdbeashedhavetroublehthehills”those
hillsantthehhopeand
santhahopehadonefavoritespotsanthahadanotherbut
rachelrachelhaddozensliketheeucalyptusgroverachelsaid
thatapersondidnthavetobesiellof
eucalyptus
hopeuldntuntthenuerofhoursshehadsatinthatgroveh
herther；sllingthatsll；listeningtothedistantbleatof
duncanssheep；thinkingaboutthingsthatneededhealinghope
usuallythoughtaboutguinevereandaboutjackshewonderedif
racheldid
”yourlegeonthat”hope
issedeveryoneofher
birthdaysforthelasteightyears；andonlysixofthosehade
afterthedivorcehehadprosedheherethosefirsttwo
tis；thenhadbeenoutoftoedidnt
tterthathecalledandapologizedandcelebratedhherlaterhe
hadbrokenaprose
santhasaidheanthasaid
thatrachelesretrusthythanjack
only；rachelthere
”thisesfrohedoctor；”jackinsisted”herlegwillheal”
hopelooothedguineveresruff；andartingto
silentlyrepeattheantraanthasvoice
cafrohedoor
”here”sheaskedjack
helookedupand；foranute；ddledbyfatigueandnerves；thought
hesalythehairlondbutnolongerasfineas
hopes；noetitwas
partlythefigure；redefinedeveninthesixehehadseen
herlastbeneathatshirtsilartotheohatsonhope；
santhastoodnfidentandassubtlycurvedashertherbutit
hevoicethatclinchedit；theechoofcaution；evenhurt；thathe
hadheardinrachelontheirlastnighttogetherndsuddenlyhewas
bathatnight；sortingthroughtheclosetforties
topackthedoor
heuldseeherclearasday；hhertousledblondhairandgentle
curvesshehadjustleftthestudiotheysharedonthetopfloorof
theirpinkditerraneanstylehointherina；andwaswearingan
oldpairofslieansandoneofhisshirtstheonceeshirtwas
spatteredhadozendifferentlors；nottheleastofhe
aquarineshehadrepaintedtheirbedroonths
beforeherfaceentthatput
hinthedefensiveinaflash
”ithoughtyougoing；”shesaid
”sodidi；butihadtochangeplans”hepushedtiesaroundonthe
rack；lookingforonestogohthesuitshehadlaidout
”eiwashopingyoudbehereforawhile”
hedidnttu；didnttoseeherpallor”so
youjustjustsayno””thatsnottheworks；”
heansoresharplythannecessary；butshesoundedsoreasonable
andhefeltsoguilty；andheired；ithadbeenthatkindof
week
”ivebeenhiredtodesignanventioncenterabignvention
centerthebasicdesignybedone；butthatstheeasypartthe
hardpartisfleshingitoutforfunctionandfit；andtodothat；i
havetofeelthecityre”hetosseddoieandtuedtoher；
pleading”thinkofyourownwork
youkeprelinarysketches；butsodoeseveryotherartistokay
yourskillsetsyouapartbutsodotheakeondepth；
attitude；diuandyoucantkethosechoiceshoutspending
tiinthefieldhercani”shekepthervoicelo
shedidntbaytraveltooneeayear；
becauseihaveresponsibilitieshereyouregoonthhree
tis；ifyougotoprovidencetorrow”
”thisishel
”shelookedclosetotears”itdoesnthavetobe”
”itdoes；ifisonhercheste
reeredthat；reeredfeelingannoyed；becausesheha
slihing；shuttinghiuththatgesture；andstillbarely
raisinghervoice；adeshesaidevenstronger”that
leavesalonehere”onlyinannerofspeaking；heknew”you
havethegirlsyouuldhavefriendsifyouedtodothings
besidespaintyouuldbeouteverynight；ifyoued”
”butidontineverhave；neveronce；notet；notnowi
hatedressingup；ihateslltalk；ihatestandingaroundonspikey
heelsnchingonprettylittlecaviarsnacks”
”notevenforagoodcause”charityfundraisersegral
partofsoeonelike
jackheneededtoseeandbeseenitwasgoodforbusiness
sadly；shesaid；”icantpainthere”andpaintingwasherworld；
adehivenredefensiveandannoyed”everyartistgets
blocks”
”itsrethanthat”thosefoldedarhuggedherddle”ibr 》
driedup；creativelydeadicantseelorhereicantfeel
subjectstheethe
probleartitateslifeiothappyhereiotsatisfied
idontfeelpleteyouandiareapartrethanwere
together”
”thentravele；”heurged；shiftingtheresponsibilitytoher
sherolledhereyes”hroughthis”
”rightyouleavethegirlsyoudoitforyouot
foehoakesfeellikeasendbanana；
isho
………………………………
第14节
kesfeel”
”jack；theyrebabies”
”theyresevenandninetheycanlivehoutyouforahandfulof
dayshereandthere”
”handfulsofdaysaddupandybeitsybeicantlive
itsdifferentforthersverydifferent”theyhadbeenthrough
thatbefore；toohetossedretiesonthebed
”lookatthose；”rachelcried”lookatthosetheyreso
nservative
getcaughtupintheratrace”
”wevedoneouroyo”she
pressedherlipstogetherafteranute；shebowedherhead
””heasked
theeyessheraisedbeherewhen
yougetback”
”yousaidthatlastti”
”thistisforreal”hesighed”eon；racheltryto
understand”
”youtrytounderstand；”shecried；thenquietedagain”ifihaveto
bealone；thereareotherplacesidratherbeiovingtobig
sur
”softly；sheasked；”ee””areyouserious””very”
heoveto
bigsillbigsursanfrancis
”ivedonefifteenyearshereforyou；”shesaid；softlystill”now
itsyourtutolivesoe”
”rachel”didntshegetit”firshere”
”youtravelallthetiyoudontdochrethanvisitthecity
anytefroigsur”
”thatkesnosense”sheiddleagain；seengin
pain”ioingineedyoutoee”frustratedthatshe
didntunderstandthepressurehefelt；exasperatedthatsheuldnt
givealittle；angrythateverythingabouthershouldsuggestthat
pain；heyoprovidence
””dad”santhasshoutbroughthiacktothepresent”howis
she”heranahandoverhisfaceandtookasteadyingbreathwhen
helybackinthepresent；hetoldherabouttheleg；theribs；
andthehandthenhereachedoutandtouchedhopeshair；ing
desperatelytoeasetheblonotknohingisthat
herheadtookabadhitshesstillunnscious”hopeseyesflew
tohis”sleeping”sheaskedonanindrah
”inanneronly；nothingorscallita
a”
”a”santhacried
”no；”jackhurriedtosay；”itsnotasbadasitsounds”hegave
theshortenedversionofthedoprovised
onahopefulnote”aisthebraindoesneedstofocus
allitsenergyonhealingonceenoughofthehealingsdone；the
personwakesup”
”notalanthaespeopleareatosefor
yearssotisaisjustanotherable”
”nottheotherwillwakeup”
”ho；butthealteativehinkable
”thedoctorhadnoreasontothinkshelistenhebegan；looking
dooincludehope；butsheoverhercat；shouldershunched
andquiveringheslidtothefloorandputanarroundher”we
havetobeoptistic
thatsthestiortantthingogointhereandtellyour
hatshesgoingtogetbetterifellherenough；shewill
”santhadeasoundhelookedupintitoseeherrollher
eyes；butthoseeyesethis
”doyouhaveabettersuggestion”heasked
tely；sheshookherhead
”okaythenthisisithinkhinkweshouldhave
breakfastanddriveuptonterey”hopesaidsothinghedidnt
hearheputhiseardo”ybeishshouldstayhhere
”shehuggedthecattoherchest
”dontyouo”yes；bbut”shesscared
santhasaidi；hope；butife；
hershereallyisalive”
”shesalivejacksaid
hoperaisedatearstreakedfacetohersister”ifguinevere
diesgone””shee”
”notch”
”hope；shesnotdyingtoday”
”assingsothinghere
”jaootheother
”guineverehasatursanthaexplained”thevetedtoputher
tosleep；buthope”sothecatinallyill
jackelseuldgohrough
hertearsandsaid；”shesnotinpainifshethevetdo
itbutiloveguinevere；andsheknoihertokeep
knoalittlelongershthat””nothingjack
said
santhadisagreed”prioritiesshetoldhersister”always
talkingaboutthethethingisthatguinevereisntdyingtodayif
theaeandgoo
senoknoheryoure
goingtosobutinking
thatshehadputitaybetherewashopeforhiselder
daughteryet；indistasteandsaid；”youre
gonnashaveandstuffbeforeyou；dadyoulookgross”
”thankyouhesaidpattinghopesshoulder；hepushedupfrohe
floorand；needingfortificationafter�hat�nhourofsleep；
toputonapotofffee
ithandonehehadexploredtheentirententsof
boththefridgeandthefreezerinsearchofffeebeansbefore
santhasaid；”inthecanister”helookedupbothsisters
thekitchendoor；hopeabitbehindbutchingascloselyas
santhahetriedtosoundauthoritative
”shealthebeansinthefridge”
”notanyresanthareplied；notloudlybuthevengreater
authorityrachelalething
knoterthantoquestionthattone；hepushedthefridgedoor
shutrachelscanistersicvegetables；all
inalineontheunterheopenedatotoandfoundsugar；openeda
acaroni；openedaneggplantandfoundlittlenibbles
ofsothingheuldntidentify
”cattreats；hopeached”trythecuke”
”thecukehastoholdspaghettihesaidandopene**tyellowpepper
torevealflourthecukeheonlythingleft”thisisntrachel
heargued；feelingalittleduasheasuredspoonfulsofbeansinto
affeell”aonsense
thatsitsshape”
”aysyouhavetobreakoutoftheldsotis；santhasaid
”whenareoffeeandashower”
”hoicthingthatwas
nodoubtalsocastbyrachelshand�asabeaverhwhiske
………………………………
第15节
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