nd collected eighteen…year…old she was。 Or would be； if she hadn’t just been confronted by her high school crush。
“Jennifer； right？” Nate smiled easily； his whole face lighting up。
Jenny nodded mutely； trying to ignore the sweat beads forming along her hairline and her heart hammering in her chest。 She was glad her belted red Searle coat was buttoned up all the way； so Nate couldn’t see the red hives that sprang up on her chest when she was embarrassed。
“Long time no see。” Nate smiled。 “Do you go here？” His green eyes searched Jenny’s dark brown ones。
Jenny shook her head； her brunette curls bouncing around her head like vines。 “I just went on a tour of RISD。 I applied there； and Pratt； but I can’t decide between them。 I’m a senior this year；” she explained nervously； feeling like she’d traveled back in time to her awkward high school years。 She might as well be wearing her seersucker Constance Billard uniform； worrying about whether Mrs。 M was going to bust her for talking to a boy on campus。 “Do you go here？”
“Nah。” Nate shuffled from side to side。 “Just looking。 Where are you headed now？”
“My brother’s supposed to pick me up on Thayer Street。 Think you can help me find it？” Jenny asked coyly。
Who can resist a damsel in distress？
“I think it’s that way。” Nate pointed to a set of tall wrought…iron gates on the other side of the snowy campus。 “I’ll walk over there with you；” he offered； and led the way down a path that ran along a squat； ivy…covered building。
“Thanks！” Jenny practically had to run in her distressed Frye cowboy boots to keep up with Nate’s long strides。
Nate slowed down。 He’d gotten used to a faster clip； keeping up with Gertie and the other girls on the farm。 “So； do you go to Constance？” he asked。
“No； I go to Waverly。 It’s a boarding school upstate。 But what about you？ Didn’t you go to Yale？” She remembered hearing about Nate getting into all the schools he’d applied to； despite being a well…known stoner and slacker。 She hoped she didn’t sound like a stalker。
“I go to Deep Springs。 It’s a working ranch in California。 We spend the morning reading and in classes and then the afternoon doing manual labor on the ranch。”
“Oh。” Jenny wrinkled her nose。 Poor Nate！ “Did your parents make you go there？”
Nate shook his head； his green eyes suddenly far…off。 Jenny wondered what he was thinking about。 He seemed so much older than the guys at Waverly； who bragged about sneaking booze to the Crater； Waverly’s best outdoor party spot； or how many times they’d fallen asleep in Ms。 Hummerton’s Texts of the Twentieth Century class。 She loved Waverly； but she was more than ready for her next adventure。
And it might just be more imminent than she thinks。
They were nearing the center of campus and Jenny felt her heart flutter in anticipation。 She could imagine everyone passing them thinking they were a couple back early from break； deep in conversation about what to do for New Year’s。
“So； why did you go to Deep Springs？” Jenny pressed。
“I just needed to get away from everything。 But the program only lasts two years； and then you transfer。 Next year； I’m thinking Brown。” Nate nodded definitively。 The tour guide had been annoying； but the campus was pretty and Yale was out of the question now that both Blair and Serena were there。 Or so he’d heard。
Jenny scanned the parked cars for Dan’s beat…up Buick Skylark when they reached Thayer Street。 The redbrick sidewalk was confettied with coarse salt。 “I’m seriously considering RISD…。” She trailed off； hoping Nate would make the connection。
Nate smiled。 Jennifer looked really cute in her red coat； with her hair pulled back from her round； cherubic face。 “Well； if you’re at RISD and I’m here； I guess we may be seeing each other a lot next year。”
Jenny smiled right back。 She’d make sure of it！
Just the sort of determination every college admissions officer wants in a college candidate。
watching him watching her watching him
It was a Saturday night and Vanessa was curled up on the black leather couch； eating takeout straight from the carton and watching Flesh； the 1968 Paul Morrissey movie about a hustler in New York who has a whole lot of sex。 When she’d first watched it in high school； she’d thought she’d missed something。 Now； she realized that there really wasn’t much else going on in the film。 It was practically a porno。
In a way； everything—the movie； the takeout； the fact that it wasn’t even ten o’clock on a Saturday night and she was curled up on the couch wearing an oversize purple NYU sweatshirt and a pair of Hollis’s boxer shorts—was the same as her life had been five years ago； when she was fifteen and friendless。
Except she wasn’t fifteen anymore； and she was far from friendless—she was dating Hollis Lyons； even if he had been away in Iceland for the last ten months。 She was living in a spacious loft with its own elevator and a gorgeous view of the Williamsburg Bridge。 She was a junior at the Tisch School of the Arts。 She had a so…ugly…it’s…cute reddish…brown choodle； currently snoring gently on the floor。 She had everything she wanted。 So why did she feel so lame？
The inter buzzed； which was odd； since she wasn’t expecting anyone。 She didn’t hang out with her friends much anymore； preferring to be home in case Hollis called from Reykjavík。 The movie shoot had raged on for months and months longer than originally planned； and now he was still there； editing on location until the end of January。 She’d visited once； during her spring break in April。 It had been amazing to see him； but devastating to leave after only five days。 They e…mailed as much as they could； but between the time difference and his insane work schedule； they’d barely even spoken save for a crackly ten…minute call on Christmas。 It had been so long since they’d seen each other that Vanessa sometimes wondered if Hollis had been a figment of her imagination。
Filmmakers are creative people。
Vanessa quickly threw the empty aluminum container into the plastic takeout bag and skidded on her stockinged feet over to the door； pressing the video inter buzzer。 A grainy image of Ruby and her baby； Moxie； sprang onto the screen。
“It’s your sister and your favorite niece！” Ruby trilled； unaware that Vanessa could see them。 “And it’s fucking freezing down here；” she added。
“e on up！” Vanessa yelled happily。 Ruby and Piotr had moved to a two…bedroom apartment in Prospect Heights right after they’d had Moxie。 It was two subway rides away； and Vanessa missed having them right around the corner。 She hurriedly picked up a pair of jeans from the floor and pulled them on over the boxers。
The elevator door slid open。 Ruby was bundled up in a black Brooklyn Industries puffer coat and a red hat； and eight…month…old Moxie wore a white fur hood。 She looked like the monkey Chuck Bass used to tote around in high school。
Vanessa immediately plucked the baby from her sister’s hands。
“Don’t say hi to me。 I’m just the mom；” Ruby joked as she walked into the large loft。 “So； Piotr’s family is here through New Year’s and I seriously need a break。” She pulled out a bottle of wine from her voluminous bag and set it on the counter。 She paused and glanced around the room suspiciously。 “God； it’s always so neat in here。”
“I like it this way；” Vanessa explained。 She naturally had sloblike tendencies； but in the last year that had all changed。 She liked scrubbing the tiles in the shower and Swiffering under the Sub…Zero。 It gave her something to do besides miss Hollis。
If it makes you happy…
Vanessa pulled Moxie’s hood off her tiny head。 “Still no hair；” she observed； checking the baby’s bald head。
“You didn’t have any hair for four years；” Ruby observed blithely； settling in on the leather couch。 Now； Vanessa’s silky jet…black hair fell inches past her shoulders。 “Hand her over； she needs to feed。” Ruby pulled the neck of her gray Hanes T…shirt down to expose her boob； and cradled Moxie in the crook of her arm。 Vanessa looked away politely。
Ruby’s head fell back against the couch。 “You know； you should really throw a New Year’s party。 I mean； with an apartment like this； it’s practically your duty。 Do you ever have people over？”
“Sometimes；” Vanessa said evasively。 In truth； she’d never invited anyone except Ruby up to the loft。 She felt it would somehow be disloyal to Hollis； having people over in his apartment while he slaved away in Iceland。 She checked the fridge to see if there was anything she could offer her sister。 A forgotten carton of lo mein from last week； a container of orange juice； and a plastic tub of almonds sat on the center shelf。 “Nuts？” Vanessa pulled out the container and threw a couple in her mouth。
“Thanks。” Ruby took a couple； crunched them loudly； and threw one over to Norma。 It bounced off the dog’s nose and onto the floor。 She just stared at it。 “Seriously； Vanessa； you’ve bee weird。”
“I have？ Look at your shoes；” Vanessa shot back。 Ruby wore a pair of burnt sienna–colored Dansko clogs； cutoff sweatpants； and the same red woolly cardigan that she’d worn on Christmas。
“They’re not weird； they’re fortable。 You’re the one wasting your youth。 I already had mine。” She sniffed； tucked her boob back inside her shirt； and passed the baby to Vanessa。
“Hi； Bunny！” Vanessa cooed； inhaling the sweet scent of Johnson’s baby shampoo； which Ruby used despite the fact that Moxie had approximately three strands of hair。 Moxie felt reassuringly heavy in Vanessa’s lap。
“Listen； you’re acting like you’re in mourning or something。 Live a little！ I’ve been given the night off from Piotr’s family and I intend to use it for good。” Ruby grinned。 “Let’s buy some slice and bake cookies and listen to Christmas music。 I’m not ready for the holidays to be over yet。 What do you say？”
“I’m in！” Vanessa smiled and then headed up the winding staircase to the sleeping loft。 Their California king…size bed was immaculately made； with a white duvet cover contrasting with the black bed frame。 Vanessa wasn’t sure when she’d slept there last。 It felt too big by herself； so she often curled up with Norma on the couch。 She pulled a scarf from her closet and wrapped it around her neck。 Her sister was right。 Maybe she had gone a little bit overboard with the reclusive…widow thing； acting like Hollis was a ship captain lost at sea instead of a film director caught up with editing。 It would be good to get out for a little bit。
“Ready！” Vanessa yelled down the stairs as she ran her fingers through her long hair。 Her index finger caught on a large snarl。 “And FYI； I didn’t take a shower today so sorry if I smell；” she called as she ran down the steps。 She reached the bottom and gasped。
There； standing by the elevator； his hands in his pockets and a smirk on his face； was Hollis。
“Okay； we’ve already got our first date planned。 Shower； here we e！” Hollis grinned。 He had slight bags under his gray eyes； as if he hadn’t slept in months。 He wore a black leather jacket and his trademark fedora over his thick dark hair。 He stood there casually； like he’d only been gone a matter o