somehow he made the dorky dialogue sound almost normal。 He was standing so close to Serena
she could smell mint on his breath。 Was he really just perfect？
Yup。
？I 。。。I 。。。？ Serena faltered。 ？I just don？t know what to say。？
Across the room； behind the camera； Vanessa cleared her throat。
？Don？t say anything；？ Thaddeus…as…Jeremy cooed。 ？Just stand still and let me look at you。？
Serena didn？t move。 She couldn？t help but believe everything Thaddeus was saying。
？I？m going to stop you here；？ announced Ken Mogul。 ？Holly； babes； remember： you？renot
Serena。 You？re Holly。？
？Okay；？ Serena whispered。 She didn？t feel like Holly Golightly。 She felt like herself and like the
perfect guy was right in front of her。 She？d spent her whole life not acting fake around guys： it
was kind of hard toact around one； especially one so 。。。 cute。
？And quit with that hand stuff；？ Ken whined； sounding like a big baby。 ？Looks like you？re
swatting away mosquitoes。？
？Sorry。？ Through the open window Serena could hear the sound of traffic whizzing by。 She kind
of wished she were out there instead； window shopping on Mercer Street in Soho with Thaddeus
or maybe letting him feed her sushi on the roof of Sushi Samba； just a few blocks downtown。
Thaddeus leaned out of the large window and inhaled deeply。 Was he reading her mind？
？Just listen to Thad；？ Ken continued with his finger still up his nose。 ？He？s not Thad； anymore？is
he？ No； he？s Jeremy。 You hear that？his shyness？ His nervousness？ He？s terrified of you； you see。
Terrified and enchanted。 Make us all feel that； okay？ Make us all fall in love with you。？
Like that was ever difficult before。
？Let？s go again。？ Ken clapped his hands while simultane…ously lighting another cigarette； even
though his last one had burned to ash without his even touching it。
Thaddeus snapped back to attention； leaning in close to Serena again。
？Darling。 You？re always rescuing me。 How can I ever repay you？？ she asked； more assuredly
this time。
？You don？t have to repay me。？
？You must e to my 。 。 。？ She couldn？t remember the rest of the line。 Shehad to glance at her
script。
？Party！？ cried Ken。 ？Party！Haven？t you read the script； Holly？？
？Yeah；？ muttered Serena defensively； resisting the urge to kick the pile of script rewrites on the
floor up and out the large； bright window。
？Okay； let？s skip ahead a little bit。？ Ken rubbed his weirdly red forehead。 ？Let？s do the big
morning scene。 There？s just a little dialogue there； so you should be able to manage that； right；
Holly？？
？Sure。？ She felt like she was doing everything wrong； even though she？d only said a few words。
Wasn？t there any time to get warmed up？
？Okay； Thaddeus； you begin；？ Ken directed； with his new cigarette torched in hand。
？Holly；？ Thaddeus recited； from memory？his script was still lying on the couch。 ？I knew I？d find
you here。？
？Will you always know where to find me？？ Serena could see Ken shaking his head out of the
corner of her eye； so she dropped her script onto the floor。 She could do this。 She stood on tiptoe
and leaned into Thaddeus？s broad chest。
？I will if you stand still；？ he pronounced softly。 ？Never run away again。？
？I promise；？ Serena whispered。 It was her last line in the film。 She craned her neck； lifting her
face to her costar？s； offering herself up to him。 She could smell toothpaste and nicotine on
Thaddeus？s warm breath； Kiehl？s oatmeal lotion on his hands； and Tide on his clothes。 She was
barely touching him； just resting her hands against his firm chest； but she could feel his body
against hers； from his strong； broad back to his perfect abs； from his lean and muscled forearms to
his flip…flopped feet。 And she could feel something else： a flicker of electricity in the air； in the
tiny pocket of space between their two bodies。 Was this acting or was it real？
？Okay；？ Thaddeus stammered。 He took a step back and Serena； who had been leaning all of her
weight on him； stumbled a bit。
He laughed nervously。 ？Ken； a smoke？？
Ken held out a pack of Marlboro Reds and Thaddeus selected one and coolly lit it。
？What？d you think； Ken？？ he asked； looping his thumb in his waistband。
？Good。 Better。 I felt more spark that last time。 But Holly needs to pick up the slack。 Holly； we
can do some rewrites if you？re having trouble with your lines。？
？What do you mean？？ Serena sank into the worn couch。 She hadn？t madetoo many mistakes； had
she？
？If there are too many words； you know；？ he explained； pronouncing the words loudly and slowly；
like he was speaking to someone whose English wasn？t so good。 ？If you？re having trouble
remembering all of them。？
Was he calling herstupid？
？No； it？s fine；？ she sighed wearily。
？She？ll get the hang of it。？ Thaddeus sat down beside her。 He rested his soft hand on her bare
knee； giving her leg a supportive squeeze。
You know I will；Serena agreed silently。 God； was she already in love？ Sometimes she was almost
too easy。
No ment。
？Of course； of course；？ agreed Ken。 ？We just need some more rehearsal time； I think。 What do
you think；Vanessa？？
Vanessa hadn？t even caught everything on camera because they hadn？t given her enough time to
set up her equipment。 ？It rocked；？ she lied enthusiastically。 After all； it was only rehearsal。
And by the looks of things； they were going to needlots more of them。
you think you know someone
？Honey； I？m hoooome！？ Dan stuck his head into the doorway of his little sister Jenny？s
bedroom。 ？Vanessa？？
？Hey。？ Vanessa stood up from behind Jenny？s painting easel。 The cozy room was still lined with
Jenny？s canvases？ washed…out landscapes； architectural drawings of famous New York buildings
like the Dakota on Seventy…second Street； some nude portraits Vanessa saw Dan avert his eyes
from just in case they were his sister？sself …portraits。 She wrapped her arms around Dan？s skinny
frame and squeezed。 ？Thank you so much for letting me stay here。？
？It？ll be great；？ he assured her； plopping down on the blue…flannel…duvet…covered bed。 ？We？ll
make it our Big New York Summer。 I？ve been thinking all about it。 All the things we？ll do
together？pedaling those stupid boats in Central Park； bagels from H&H Bagels on our days off？？
？Um； that sounds great； but I？m going to be really busy with work； you know？ It？s going to take
a lot of work to get this movie right。？ She nodded toward the puter screen where Serena van
der Woodsen？s ethereal face was paused； her eyes half closed。 She was reviewing the rehearsal
footage from this afternoon； and if it was any indication of what the finished film would look
like？well； it wasn？t pretty。
？Right。？ Dan pouted a little。 ？Of course。？
On the up side； the longer Serena fumbled through her rehearsals； the more time Vanessa had to
experiment with her camera work。 She was going to give him something better。 She was
determined to do something truly avant…garde and unusual； something that would really wow Ken
Mogul and his producers。 He？d mentioned Godard。 But she was the master of mixing humor with
tragedy。 She would show the used condom stuck to Holly？s shoe； the tarnished side of the party
princess！
？Where？s your dad？？ she asked； changing the subject。 It was only a matter of time before she ran
into Dan？s Beat poet dad； Rufus； wearing his usual stained Mets T…shirt and too…snug tan cargo
shorts。 She was hoping to see him before they had a middle…of…the…night runin。 Who knew what
he？d be wearing then？
He shrugged。 ？You talk to Ruby？？ He dug into his pockets and retrieved a battered old pack of
Camels； lit one； and then lay back on Jenny？s lumpy； narrow bed。 ？I hope you guys made up。
Life？s too short； you know？？
？Huh？？Vanessa asked lazily； lying down next to him。 Ruby had sent a couple of apologetic text
messages； but Vanessa was too mad to bother reading them all the way through。 She could
imagine Ruby squeezing Piotr？s back zits while they did it in his paint…splattered studio？aka her
old room。 She snuggled her almost…bald head into Dan？s ropy neck and whispered； ？I can？t really
deal with it now； you know？？
？That？s too bad；？ he observed solemnly。 ？I always admired your relationship。？
？Sure。？ She couldn？t resist giggling a little。 ？Are you feeling okay？？
Dan turned toward her so their noses were almost touching。 Vanessa kissed his smoky…tasting
lips。 Her touched her face。 ？You know； I never realized it before； but happiness is； like； right there
in front of you； you know what I mean？ It？s like us？like you？re all I need to be happy； and you？re
right here； in my house。 I mean； I know you？ll have to work a lot and everything； but it？s so great。
It？s actually so much easier to achieve happiness than it is to embrace ugliness。？
Vanessa bit her lip。 She loved Dan； but she really hoped he wasn？t about to pull another
embarrassing proclamation of undying devotion like he had at his own graduation。 Some things
were better left unsaid。
You can say that again。
？Did you learn that on the job？？ she teased。 ？I didn？t know they offered free New Age self…help
lectures at the Strand。？
？I？m not talking about work。？ He sucked on his Camel hard and defensively。 ？I readSiddhartha
during my break this afternoon。 Life？s just so short。。。。 I mean； we can only hope to find some
meaning in this life； you know？？
The only book Vanessa knew him to have spoken as passionately about wasThe Sorrows of
Young Werther ； a creepy book about a moody； depressive guy who kills himself in the end
because his girlfriend marries someone else。
？All right； I？m officially confused。 What the hell are you talking about？？ she asked。 Her
eyebrows furrowed as she looked into his light brown eyes。
？I？m talking about the meaning of life；？ he replied simply。
Or was he talking about a certain perfectly perky round…butted blonde？
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ABC Amber LIT Converter v2。02
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Disclaimer： All the real names of places； people； and events have been altered or abbreviated to
protect the innocent。 Namely； me。
hey people！
I？ve discovered something very important about myself： I？mtotally bi。 It？s not what you？re
thinking？I？m just torn betweenwhere I want to spend my summer and I？ve decided I reallywant to
have it both ways。 Thank God for Teterboro Airport。 Aquick drive to the runway and I？m on the
island in less than anhour。 That gives me a chance to ogle the surfer boys and sayyes to every
party I？m invited to here at home。
There？s something so exclusive about parties in the city duringthe summer。 So intimate； with no
unwanted guests。 Well；almost。 Not that we don？t like to have our picture taken； we？djust like to
make sure our beach hair doesn？t have any actualsand in it before the flash goes off。 Yes； I？m
talking about thepaparazzi。 Obviously they have to work all summer； and obviously they？re bored
because they？ve been hounding the fewcelebs in town？me included？like every night was an
MTVMusic Awards after…party at Lindsay？s loft。
But summer and the beach go hand in hand； and I could neverpletely fors