shaking anymore。
Unbelievable as it seemed； he had touched Serena with those very
hands while they were dancing。 And now he was alone with her in a
taxi。 If he wanted to； he could take her hand； stroke her cheek；
maybe even kiss her。 He studied her profile； her skin shining in the
yellow glow of the streetlights； but he couldn’t bring himself to do it。
“God I love to dance；” Serena said； letting her head fall back on the
seat。 She felt pletely relaxed。 “I could seriously dance every
single night。”
Dan nodded。 “Yeah； me too；” he said。 But only with you； he meant
to add。
It takes a girl like Serena to make a guy with two left feet say he
loves to dance。
They rode the rest of the way in silence； enjoying the tired feeling in
their legs and the cool air from the open window on their sweat…
dampened foreheads。 There was nothing awkward about the fact
that they weren’t talking。 It was nice。
When the cab pulled up in front of the old Barneys building on
Seventeenth Street； Dan was expecting to see Jenny waiting for
them outside； but the sidewalk was empty。
“I guess I’m going to have to go in there and get her；” Dan said。 He
turned to Serena。 “You can go ahead home。 Or you can wait。 。 。 。”
“I’ll e with you；” Serena said。 “I may as well see what I missed
out on。”
Dan paid for the cab； and they got out and headed for the door。
“I hope they let us in；” Serena whispered。 “I threw my invitation
out。”
Dan pulled the crumpled invitation Jenny had made for him out of
his pocket and flashed it at the bouncer at the door。 “She’s with
me；” he said； putting his arm around Serena。
“Go ahead；” the bouncer said； waving them on。
She’s with me？ Dan couldn’t believe his balls。 He’d had no idea they
were that big。
“I’d better look around for my sister；” he told Serena when they got
inside。
“Okay；” she said。 “I’ll meet you back here in ten minutes。”
The room was full of old familiar faces。 So familiar that no one there
was quite sure whether Serena van der Woodsen had just arrived or
if she’d been there all night。 She certainly looked like she’d been
having a good time。 Her hair was windblown； her dress was slipping
off her shoulders； there was a run in her tights； and her cheeks were
all pink； as if she’d been running。 She looked wild； like the kind of
girl who’d done everything everyone said she’d done； and probably
a whole lot more。
Blair noticed Serena right away； standing on the edge of the dance
floor in that funny old dress they’d bought together at Alice
Underground。
Blair pulled away from Nate。 “Look who’s here；” she said。
Nate turned around； gripping Blair’s hand when he saw Serena； as if
to demonstrate his devotion。
Blair squeezed his hand back。 “Why don’t you go tell her？” she
asked him。 “Tell her you can’t be friends with her anymore。” Her
stomach rumbled nervously。 After all the throwing up she’d done；
she really needed another tuna roll。
Nate stared at Serena with grim； slightly stoned determination。 If
Blair thought it was crucial that he tell Serena to get lost； then he’d
do it。 He couldn’t wait to get this all behind them so he could relax。
In fact； after he talked to Serena he was going to head upstairs and
find somewhere private to light up。
Waspoid rule #1： When things get intense； smoke a joint。
“All right；” Nate said； letting go of Blair’s hand。 “Here I go。”
“Hey；” Serena said。 She reached up and kissed Nate on the cheek。
He blushed。 He hadn’t expected her to touch him。 “You look mahvelous；
darling；” she said in a silly； hoity…toity accent。
“Thanks；” Nate said。 He tried to put his hands in his pockets； but his
tuxedo didn’t have any。 Stupid thing。 “So； what have you been up
to？” he asked。
“Well； I kind of blew off the party；” Serena explained。 “I’ve been out
dancing at this crazy place in Brooklyn。”
Nate raised his eyebrows in surprise。 But then again； nothing
Serena said should have surprised him anymore。
“So； you want to dance？” Serena asked。 She put her arms around
Nate’s neck before he answered； and began to swing her hips from
side to side。
Nate glanced at Blair； who was watching them carefully； and
collected himself。 “Look； Serena；” he said； taking a step back and
removing her arms。 “I really can’t 。 。 。 you know 。 。 。 be friends 。 。 。
not like the way we were before；” he began。
Serena gazed into his eyes searchingly； trying to read his true
thoughts。 “What did I do？” she said。 “Did I do something？”
“Blair is my girlfriend；” Nate continued。 “I have to 。 。 。 I have to be
loyal to her。 I can’t 。 。 。 I can’t really be 。 。 。” He swallowed。
Serena crossed her arms over her chest。 If only she could hate Nate
for being so cruel and so lame。 If only he weren’t so good…looking。
And if only she didn’t love him。
“Well； I guess we should stop talking then；” she said。 “Blair might
get mad。” She let her arms fall to her sides and turned abruptly
away。
As she crossed the room； Serena’s eyes met Blair’s。 She stopped in
her tracks and reached into her bag； searching for the twenty…dollar
bill Blair had left on the table at the Tribeca Star。 She wanted to give
it back。 As if； somehow； it would prove she hadn’t done anything
wrong。 That night； or ever。 Her fingers found her cigarettes instead。
She pulled one out and stuck it between her lips。 The music was
getting louder and around her； people were dancing。 Serena could
feel Blair watching her； and her hands trembled as she fumbled
around in her bag for a light。 As usual； she didn’t have one。 She
shook her head in annoyance； and glanced up at Blair。 And then；
instead of glaring at each other； the two girls smiled。
It was strange smile； and neither girl knew what the other meant by
it。
Was Blair smiling because she had won the boy in the end and
stamped all over Serena’s party shoes？ Because—as usual—she
had gotten her way？
Was Serena smiling because she felt unfortable and nervous？
Or was she smiling because she hadn’t stooped to Blair’s petty level
of spreading nasty rumors and playing with Nate’s mind？
Or was it a sad smile because their friendship was over？
Maybe they were smiling because they both knew deep down that
no matter what happened next—no matter what boy they fell in or
out of love with； or what clothes they wore； or what their SAT scores
were； or which college they got into—they both would be all right。
After all； the world they lived in took care of its own。
Serena pulled the cigarette out of her mouth； dropped it on the floor
and began walking toward Blair。 When they were face to face； she
stopped and fished the twenty…dollar bill out of her bag。 “Here；” she
said； handing it to Blair。 “This is yours。” And then； without another
word； she kept on walking； heading for the ladies’ room to splash
some cold water on her face。
Blair looked down at the bill in her hand and stopped smiling。
Over by the door； Rebecca Agnelli from the Central Park Save the
Peregrine Falcon Foundation was just putting on her mink coat and
kissing Kati and Isabel goodnight。 Blair walked over and pressed the
twenty…dollar bill into her hand。
“That’s for the birds；” Blair said with her fakest smile。 “Don’t forget
your gift bag！”
Serena turned on the tap and splashed her face over and over with
cool clean water。 It felt so good she wanted to peel off all her
clothes and jump in。
She leaned against the row of sinks； patting her face dry。 Her gaze
slipped to the floor； where she saw a pair of black wing…tipped
shoes； the fringed end of a blue scarf； and a girl’s black handbag。
Serena rolled her eyes and walked over。 “Chuck； is that you？” she
said into the crack in the door。 “Who’ve you got in there with you？”
A girl gasped。
“Shit；” Serena heard Chuck say。
Chuck had stood Jenny up on the toilet…seat lid in the end stall and
pulled her dress down so he could get at those massive jugs。
Serena had e at the worst possible time。
Chuck pushed open the stall door a few inches。 “Fuck off；” he
growled。
Behind him Serena could see little Jenny Humphrey； her dress
pulled down around her waist； her arms hugging herself； looking
terrified。
Someone pushed open the bathroom door。 “Jenny？ Are you in
here？” Dan called。
Serena suddenly registered： Jenny was Dan’s sister。 No wonder
she’d sounded weird on the phone。 She was about to be mauled by
Chuck。
“I’m here；” Jenny whimpered。
“Get out of here；” Serena snapped at Chuck； pulling the door open
just wide enough for him to get past her。
Chuck pushed by her； knocking her against the stall door。 “Well；
excuse me； bitch；” he hissed。 “Next time I’ll be sure to ask your
permission。”
“Wait a minute； asshole；” Dan said； sizing Chuck up。 “What were
you doing to my sister？”
Serena pushed the stall door closed and stood outside it； waiting for
Jenny to step down from the toilet and fix herself before her brother
saw her。 Inside； she could hear Jenny sniffling。
“Fuck off；” Chuck said； pushing Dan out of the way。
“No； you fuck off； Scarf Boy；” Dan said。 He’d never been in a fight
before。 His hands began to shake again。
Serena hated it when boys fought。 It was so pointless； and it made
them look like assholes。
“Hey Chuck；” Serena said； poking Chuck in the back。 Chuck turned
around。 “Why don’t you go fuck yourself？ You know no one else
will；” she hissed。
“You bitch；” Chuck hissed back。 “You think you can e back here
and act all high and mighty after everything you’ve done？ You think
you can act like such a princess and tell me to fuck off？”
“What have I done； Chuck？” Serena demanded。 “What is it that you
think I’ve done？”
Chuck licked his lips and laughed quietly。 “What have you done？” he
asked。 “You got kicked out of boarding school because you are a
perverted slut who made marks on the wall above the bed in your
dorm room for every boy you did。 You have STDs。 You were addicted
to all kinds of drugs and busted out of rehab and now you’re dealing
your own stuff。 You were a member of some cult that killed
chickens。 You have a fucking baby in France。” Chuck took a deep
breath and licked his lips。
Serena was smiling again。
“Wow。 I’ve been busy；” she said。
Chuck frowned。 He glanced at Dan who was standing there；
watching silently with his hands in his pockets。
“Fuck off； Chuck；” Serena whispered。
Chuck shrugged and grabbed a bottle of Evian off the counter。
“Whatever； bitch；” he said； pushing past Dan and out the door。
“You know you love me！” Serena yelled after him。
Dan knocked on the bathroom stall。 “Jenny？” he said gently。 “Are
you all right？”
More sniffling。
Jenny couldn’t get control of herself。 She just could not believe that
of all the people in the universe； it had to be Serena van der
Woodsen who found her like this。 Serena must think she was so
pathetic。
“I’m okay；” Jenny finally managed to say。 She picked her purse up
off the floor and pushed open the door。 “Just take me home。”
Dan put his