do that again； only this time I've got a schedule all
worked out so that it's even every where。” She giggles and says； “Don't tell my mom； okay？
She would have a ka…nip！”
And this； my friend； is how the Tan Wars began。 Miranda told Shelly that she didn't even
notice her tan at the beginning of the year and that the
place to really roast is on a cruise ship。 Shelly told Miranda that anyone with freckles can't
really get tan and since Miranda had freckles everywhere；
the cruise was a guaranteed waste of money。 I choked down my third of the lunch and
looked around the room； trying to let it all flow past me。
Then I saw Juli。 She was two tables away from me； facing my direction。 Only she wasn't
looking at me。 She was looking at Jon； her eyes all
sparkly and laughing。
My heart lurched。 What was she laughing about？ What were they talking about？ How could
she sit there and look so… beautiful？
I felt myself spinning out of control。 It was weird。 Like I couldn't even steer my own body。 I'd
always thought Jon was pretty cool； but right then I
wanted to go over and throw him across the room。
Shelly grabbed my arm and said； “Bryce； are you all right？ You look…I don't know…
possessed or something。”
“What？ Oh。” I tried taking a deep breath。 “What are you staring at？” Miranda asked。 They
both looked over their shoulders； then shrugged and
went back to picking at their food。
But I couldn't stop myself from looking again。 And in the back of my mind； I could hear my
grandfather's voice saying； “The choices you make now
will affect you for the rest of your life。 Do the right thing…。”
Do the right thing…。
Do the right thing…。
Miranda shook me out of it； asking； “Bryce？ Are you in there？ I asked； what are you going to
do this summer？”
“I don't know；” I snapped。
“Hey； maybe you can spend some time up at the lake with us！” Shelly said。
It was torture。 I wanted to scream； Shut up！ Leave me alone！ I wanted to run out of the
building and keep on running until I didn't feel like this
anymore。
“Lunch is really delicious； Bryce。” Miranda's voice was floating around。 “Bryce？ Did you hear
me？ This is really a spectacular lunch。”
A simple little thank you would've sufficed。 But could I e up with a simple little thank you？
No。 I turned on her and said； “Can we not talk about
food or tans or hair？”
She gave me an uppity little smile。 “Well； what do you want to talk about； then？”
I blinked at her； then at Shelly。 “How about perpetual motion？ Know anything about that？”
“Perpetual what？”
Miranda starts laughing。
……… Page 79………
“What？” I ask her。 “What's so funny？”
She looks at me a minute； then snickers。 “I didn't realize I'd bid on an intellectual。”
“Hey… I'm plenty smart！”
“Yeah？” Miranda giggles。 “Can you spell intellectual？”
“He is too smart； Miranda。”
“Oh； stop kissing up； Shelly。 You're trying to tell me you're after his brain？ God； it's making
me sick to watch you grovel。”
“Grovel？ Excuse me？”
“You heard me。 He's not going to take you to the grad dance anyway； so just give it up； why
don't you？”
And with that； it was all over。 One of my mom's flaky apple tarts got ground into Miranda's
hair； the extra ranch dressing got smeared into Shelly's。
And before Mrs。 McClure could say； In the name of Boosters！ What are you doing？ they
were rolling on the floor； scratching each other's makeup
off。
I took this opportunity to leave my table and head for Juli's。 I grabbed her by the hand and
said； “I've got to talk to you。”
She sort of half…stands and says； “What？ What's going on； Bryce？ Why are they fighting？”
“Excuse us a minute； would you； Jon？” I pull her away from the table； but there's no place to
go。 And I've got her hand in mine； and I just can't
think。 So I stop right there in the middle of the room and look at her。 At that face。 I want to
touch her cheek and see what it feels like。 I want to touch
her hair； it looks so incredibly soft。
“Bryce；” she whispers。 “What's wrong？”
I can barely breathe as I ask her； “Do you like him？”
“Do I… you mean Jon？”
“Yes！”
“Well； sure。 He's nice and — ”
“No； do you like him？” My heart was pounding through my chest as I took her other hand and
waited。
“Well； no。 I mean； not like that…。”
No！ She said no！ I didn't care where I was； I didn't care who saw。 I wanted； just had to kiss
her。 I leaned in； closed my eyes； and then …
She broke away from me。
Suddenly； the room iranda and Shelly stared at me through their slimy hair；
everyone was looking at me like I'd blown my entire
circuit board； and I just stood there； trying to reel in my lips and pull myself back together。
Mrs。 McClure took me by the shoulders； guided me to my chair； and told me； “You sit here；
and you stay here！” Then she hauled Miranda and
Shelly outside； scolding them and telling them to find separate bathrooms and clean up while
she ran down the janitor to mop up their mess。
I sat there by myself and didn't even care about covering up。 I just wanted to be with her。 To
talk to her。 To hold her hand again。
To kiss her。
Before school was out； I tried to talk to her again； but every time I got close； she'd dodge me。
And then when the final bell rang； she disappeared。
I looked everywhere for her； but she was just gone。
Garrett； however； wasn't。 He tracked me down and said； “Dude！ Tell me it isn't true！”
I didn't say a word。 I just headed for the bike racks； still hoping to find Juli。
“Oh； man …it is true！”
“Leave me alone； Garrett。”
“You get hooked up with the two finest chicks on campus； then bail on them for Juli？”
“You don't understand。”
“You're right； dude。 I pletely don't understand。 Did you seriously try to kiss her？ I couldn't
believe that part。 We're talking Julianna Baker？ Your
……… Page 80………
nightmare neighbor？ The know…it…all nuisance？ The coop poop babe？”
I stopped cold and shoved him。 Just laid into him with both hands and shoved。 “That was a
long time ago； man。 Knock it off！”
Garrett put both hands up； but moved in at me。 “Dude； you have flipped； you know that？”
“Just back off； would you？”
He blocked my path。 “I can't believe this！ Two hours ago you were the man。 The man！ The
whole school was on their knees before you！ Now look
at you。 You're； like； a social hazard。” He snorted and said； “And； dude； the truth is； if you're
gonna be like this； I don't need the association。”
I got right in his face and said； “Good！ 'Cause you know what？ Neither do I！”
I shoved him aside and ran。
I wound up walking home。 In my pinchy shoes； with dirty dishes clanking inside my sticky
picnic hamper； this basket boy hiked all the way home。
And there was a battle raging inside me。 The old Bryce wanted to go back in time； wanted to
hang with Garrett and shoot the breeze； wanted to
hate Juli Baker again。
Wanted to be the man。
But in my heart I knew the old Bryce was toast。 There was no going back。 Not to Garrett or
Shelly or Miranda or any of the other people who
wouldn't understand。 Juli was different； but after all these years that didn't bother me
anymore。
I liked it。
I liked her。
And every time I saw her； she seemed more beautiful。 She just seemed to glow。 I'm not
talking like a hundred…watt bulb； she just had this warmth
to her。 Maybe it came from climbing that tree。 Maybe it came from singing to chickens。
Maybe it came from whacking at two…by…fours and dreaming
about perpetual motion。 I don't know。 All I know is that pared to her； Shelly and Miranda
seemed so…ordinary。
I'd never felt like this before。 Ever。 And just admitting it to myself instead of hiding from it
made me feel strong。 Happy。 I took off my shoes and
socks and stuffed them in the basket。 My tie whipped over my shoulder as I ran home
barefoot； and I realized that Garrett was right about one thing
— I had flipped。
pletely。
I trucked down our street and spotted her bike lying on its side on the driveway。 She was
home！
I rang the bell until I thought it would break。
No answer。
I pounded on her door。
No answer。
I went home and called on the phone； and finally； finally her mother answers。 “Bryce？ No； I'm
sorry。 She doesn't want to talk。” Then she whispers；
“Give her a little time； won't you？”
I gave her an hour。 Almost。 Then I went across the street。 “Please； Mrs。 Baker。 I've got to
see her！”
“She's locked herself in her room； dear。 Why don't you try phoning tomorrow。”
Tomorrow？ I couldn't wait until tomorrow！ So I went around the side of their house； climbed
the fence； and knocked on her window。 “Juli！ Juli；
please。 I've got to see you。”
Her curtains didn't open； but the back door did； and out came Mrs。 Baker to shoo me away。
When I got home； my granddad was waiting at the front door。 “Bryce； what is going on？
You've been running back and forth to the Bakers'；
climbing over their fence…。 You're acting like the world's on fire！”
I blurted； “I can't believe this！ I just can't believe this！ She won't talk to me！”
……… Page 81………
He led me into the front room； saying； “Who won't talk to you？”
“Juli！”
He hesitated。 “Is she … mad at you？”
“I don't know！”
“Does she have reason to be mad at you？”
“No！ Yes！ I mean； I don't know！”
“Well； what happened？”
“I tried to kiss her！ In front of this whole room of people； while I was supposed to be having
that stupid basket boy lunch with Shelly and Miranda； I
tried to kiss her！”
Slowly a smile spread across his face。 “You did？”
“I was； like； possessed。 I couldn't stop myself！ But she pulled away and…” I looked out the
window at the Bakers' house。 “And now she won't talk
to me！”
Very quietly my grandfather said； “Maybe she thinks this is all a little sudden？”
“But it's not！”
“It's not？”
“No； I mean …” I turned to him。 “It started with that stupid newspaper article。 And I don't
know… I've been weirded out ever since。 She doesn't
look the same； she doesn't sound the same； she doesn't even seem like the same person to
me！” I stared out the window at the Bakers'。 “She's…
she's just different。”
My grandfather stood beside me and looked across the street； too。 “No； Bryce；” he said softly。
“She's the same as she's always been； you're the
one who's changed。” He clapped his hand on my shoulder and whispered； “And； son； from
here on out； you'll never be the same again。”
Maybe my grandfather's happy about all this； but I'm miserable。 I can't eat； I can't watch TV； I
can't seem to do anything。
So I went to bed early； but I can't sleep。 I've w